A throw back post

Two weeks after I had my miscarriage, I wrote an article for a website I had been writing for. They sent it right back to me and I was devastated that I wasn't allowed to share my story. I ended up telling them I could no longer write for them. This is that article:

In The Blink of an Eye: Part 2

Where do I start? Well, I am just going to say it and save the huge story behind it. I had a miscarriage. The short story is on September 2nd I went into the er for light spotting and found out 5 hours later that our baby had passed away. I got a d and c on September 6th and found out that day that the baby had actually passed away at 7 weeks and 1 day. I was 11 1/2 weeks when I had the surgery.

The day we found out I miscarried was my breaking point. I cried for the whole day. When I stopped, I just started right back up again. The only time I didn't cry was when I was sleeping that night. The next day, I repeated the cycle. It has been 2 weeks and it still feels like it happened yesterday. I didn't cry yesterday, though, so I know it didn't happen yesterday.

Now, we are healing. It was easier to my husband to heal and sometimes I get so angry at him for it. He seems to be able to go days without thinking about it. I can't even go a couple of hours without thinking about it. In the emptiness I now feel inside of me, I have a constant reminder.

What I have't mentioned yet is that my husband wasn't there. For any of it, really. He was on duty the night it happened. My best friend took me to the er and she had to call the ship to tell him he needed to come to the er ASAP. On the day I had my d and c he couldn't get a hold of anyone on the ship when he called so he had to drive there to let them know what was going on. I didn't get to see him before I went into surgery though I DID get to see him after I woke up. The next day I was supposed to have someone with me for 24 hours but he had duty again so he couldn't. My best friend was able to come stay with me until 5 pm, thank God.

I didn't write this story to get pity, rather to show just how little he is able to be around even when he is here. The Navy doesn't have it as easy as people think. Neither do the families.

We just can't wait until we get to try again and we pray that God will let the next one stay on Earth with us. After all, how many angel babies does he really need?









I shared this article because I hate that I was silenced. I should have been allowed to post it. Even if there were things they wanted me to change before I did, I should have been allowed.